Thus continued the great Elephant-headed prophet of the GOP, Willie Horton Heares A. Hooey, in Chapter 11, verse 86-ed in the deep 6-tenths of the Book of GOPre-gurgelation:
“I have seen a vision of four horsemen of Republican apocalypse in the election to come in 2012!!
“And there before my eyes was a white horse and its rider was a Hollywood cowboy hero who had been upstaged by a chimpanzee in the movie ‘Bedtime for Bonzo’.
“The monkey lay clasped hard upon his shoulders and back and the cowboy skedaddled forth to great fame and myth in the greatest performance of a president by an actor in 2,000 years.
“And there before my eyes a second horse came forth, all red whose lean rider had in his hand a great sword that could slash a quarter of our taxes, but he cried ‘read my lips! No new taxes!!’ and was no more, for he taxed us, hard, and fell in 1992 to that great New Bubba-lon and his scarlet Hillary-harlot for two terms until they were cast out.
“And there then before my eyes came a third and black horse. Its rider was Bonzo, choking on a pretzel.
“In Bonzo’s hand was a book called ‘My pet Goat’ and there was much shock and awe, and bailouts, and most-un-Republican behavior, sins of stock market gambling, nation building, money throwing at lobbyists and many other unconservative sins of that naughty monkey that the hero on the white horse had released upon the land.
“Now hear ye well fellow GOPs for three horses have passed and one final and fourth horse of the Republican apocalypse is yet to ride.
“And then in my vision I saw the fourth creature, more skinned moose than pale horse, ridden by a rider with larger Baals than mere men.
“The creature wore proudly her $10,000 dress in times of economic troubles, with Gucci mittens, and those nice Ugg boots and, eoooow! Like, even, a parka from Rodeo Drive too, gosh darn it!
“And in a wink or two coming from the Palin rider, I knew that with her rode political death for our party if Satan’s Donkeycrats should get their baying prayer fulfilled lest we forget our GOP-glories past and pick her to run for president in 2012.”
Willie Horton Heares A. Hooey
The Great Dumbopubican Sage
To be fair, we will hear from that Donkeycratic seer Jack Asser bin-Winning in due time, to rant apocalyptic on the Left when stimuli are numb and Obama bailouts bust.
(22 April 2009)
PS–Forecasts of Donkeycratic nasty surprises and Dumbopublican resurrections can be found in Predictions for 2009.